James and I attended the baby shower of a good friend of ours this past Saturday, and it was so much fun. Her family seems really nice, and it was fun to see all the little baby stuff. We all decorated onesies; that baby will have plenty of those for a while. :) James was a big hit, of course. He was his smiley, charming self. And he’s at such a fun age – he’s interactive in that he looks at you and smiles and laughs and plays. But he’s not mobile yet, so he isn’t as much work to look after.

There was another baby there that was 3 months old. He was a cutie too. It’s weird to think that was how James was just a couple months ago; kind of floppy and little and not so interested in whatever else is going on. The other little boy’s mom described time as a mother as passing quickly, but when you think back on things since he was born, it all seems so long ago. It seems like he’s always been able to do whatever he does now. I completely agree. It seems like forever ago that James was so little that he could fit in the crook of my arm, or all curled up on my chest. Now he stretches down to my lap when I hold him sitting down, and I have to make sure to lift him up when I put him in the crib so his little feet don’t get caught between the crib and my stomach. When I walk around with him he sits on my arm, holding himself up and looking around. And yet he’s only 5 months old! He hasn’t even been around for half a year. It’s just crazy. I just scheduled his 6 month checkup for next month. I can’t believe he’ll be 6 months already…time really does fly.

I wonder if my mom feels that way about us; that it was just yesterday that we were little babies? Being a mom really gives me a much better perspective on how parents feel about their kids. I never could have imagined it…it is so hard to describe. Someone I read once said that having kids feels like a little piece of your heart out walking around. I feel more like James has a string or tentacle or something attached to my heart. Like where ever he is, we are connected, and he can tug at it whenever he needs something. When he’s upset, it’s tight and tense. When he’s happy it’s relaxed, with lots of give. I don’t know how else to describe the feeling.

I didn’t know how much I would love being a mother when I was pregnant. I thought I would like it, and I knew I would love my baby. But I had no idea how much I would love him, or how much I would love being a mom. Or how much I would love watching Ryan as a dad. He’s awesome, and James adores him. The grins for Daddy; they kill me.

Anyway, I know all that has been said by other people, and much more elegantly than I could ever say it. But part of having this blog is being able to look back and see how I felt at certain times of my life, and that is how I feel now. Constantly connected to this other little person, who amazes me more and more every day.

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Daycare update:

We found a new daycare. I love her. It is the place that we were going to take James temporarily while we found something permanent (she usually just does drop-in care), but she said she’d be willing to try out a permanent spot. So we are trying it out. So far, so good. She does cloth diapering too, and is about our age. She went to school and knows some good friends of ours, and came pretty highly recommended. The only downside is that it now takes us about 40 minutes in the morning and 45 minutes after work to do drop-off/pick-up. Ick. That will improve, though, once all the road construction is finished.

We also got a letter about our old daycare, saying that the person’s license was suspended for 90 days due to “imminent harm” to the children. I don’t know if things were more serious than she lead us to believe, or if that’s just the wording the county always uses, or what. But I’m glad we are done with her.

She returned our money, which is great. She returned most of our bottles (there are a few parts missing), but as Ryan pointed out when I started to get angry about it – it’s not worth it. It’s not worth the effort to try to call her and figure out where things are and pick them up. Talking to her makes me so frustrated (she wants us to feel sorry for her! ACK!), and so it is worth whatever small cost it will be to get replacement parts for the bottles just to be done with it.

Speaking of done with it; it’s time for me to be done with the internet for tonight.