Between Ryan and myself:

me: Do you think there’s room in our budget for me to hire a small child to walk around behind me pushing on my back? Because that feels good (the pushing on my back, not hiring a small child)

Ryan: hmmm

me: We’d have to find a genius child though, so it would be ok if they missed school

Ryan: Ooh, that might push it beyond our budget

me: Dangit. I never get what I want!

Ryan:  Maybe an above average kid??