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  • 8:42 pm
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Aging Gracefully

I know I’m not old. I don’t even feel old most of the time (when people I’m hanging out with were born in the 90s it changes a bit). But this summer is my 10-year high school class reunion, and it has me thinking about aging, and how quickly time has gone by since I was in high school.

It’s interesting, because the older I get the more I realize that the hangups and self-consciousness I felt in high school haven’t changed much. Especially when I’m hanging out with people from high school. I still worry that people won’t like me, or that I’m not cool enough. It causes me to say really dumb stuff. Case in point: a guy I knew and was friends with in high school asked me how I had changed since then (this was last summer). What did I say? “I drink now.” Way to go, alcoholic Becky. Great impression. With people I meet in Duluth, I am outgoing and fun (at least I think so). But with people from high school I am still shy at some points and loud at others (usually the wrong ones).

I don’t know why this is, and I’m hoping to get over it at the reunion this summer. I want to go and have fun, and hang out with people I haven’t seen in ages. And I think that I will. I hope I will. And if not, I’ll just drink more beer. ;-)

4 Comments

Aunt Janice

May 15, 2009 11:41 am

You make me laugh, and I’ve known you for ages!
Seriously, though, I think all of our insecurities come out at such times. I have my 20-year reunion this summer, and I’m sure I’ll feel less pretty and charming than the people I felt less pretty and charming than in high school, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be way too loud and over-bearing with almost everyone. Fortunately, the people I loved best in high school will be forgiving, and my husband loves me anyway. :)
I dare say that if you talked to Aunt Jean (who has her 30-year reunion this summer!), she’d say the same thing.

Jess

May 15, 2009 8:44 pm

A lot of times people tend to live up to what they think others expect of them. I’m still shy around anyone new and around people I haven’t seen in a long time. My easiest example is the way I am around my parents… I like to think that I have matured and am less self-absorbed now that I’m an “adult” but every time I go home I still act like a kid seeking approval and waiting to be taken care of (some times are much better than others). It might help to pretend that you are someone else (the adult you that never knew the high school you, maybe I’ll try that next time I go home and tell you how it works out.

Mary

May 18, 2009 9:30 am

And I’m thinking that the people that I thought of as way cool in high school (of which I was not one) have their own insecurities. I just always tell myself that I don’t need to meet anyone else’s expectations. I have a family & friends I love and who love me, and a career I am happy with. I don’t need more than that.

DrZibbs

May 18, 2009 11:01 am

Start your night by talking to some losers.

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